Lesson: The Closet

The Closet. There are very few things that bind all Gay men have in common. We like dick and at some point we had to come out of the Closet. Some come out early and if you think back to your childhood you will remember the one boy who was always palling around with the girls, never wanted to play football, and had the best hair in the 6th grade. Others take their time and in a hormone fulled frenzy bust out of the closet in their teens. Even more wait longer to come out of the Closet and don't figure their shit out until they are in college or later. Some cock loving boys never come out but that is a Lesson for another day. My favorite coming out stories are of the college variety. They tend to involve drugs, alcohol, and "experimenting".

Being "in the closet" means that you are a secret homosexual. For many Gay boys this is a necessity of survival. For example: If you are a 16 year old queen living in Provo, Utah and you don't want to be shunned and ridiculed (or worse) then staying in the closet until you can get out of Hatesburg is probably a good idea. I you are a 30 year old man living in Los Angeles who sneak around in the dark sucking cock so your wife and kids don't find out about your faggoty nature then you need to come out. it will be better for everyone.

Coming out of the Closet is not always a choice. One can be "Outed". This is when someone else takes it upon themselves to spread the word about your Gayness without your say so. This is just rude. If you have a friend/lover/boyfriend who you either know is gay or you suspect them of being gay please do not take it upon your self to out them to the world. You really are just being an asshole.

How can I tell if my brother/boyfriend/friend is a closeted gay?

Here is a list of signs that indicate that someone might be a Fag:

1. He enjoys sex with men. Ladies, if your man is having sex with other men (whether you are there or not) he is Gay.

2. He is more excited about your new Coach bag than you are.

3. He is in any way involved in these professions. Male prostitute, Hair Dresser, Gay porn star, Dog shows, a Cast member at a Disney theme park, or masseuse who gives a happy ending.

4. Enjoys Gay bars for the music.

5. Has ever asked you if he looks fat.

6. Uses a hair product that costs more than $10 and refers to it as "Product".

7. Owns his own dildo.

If you or someone you know is thinking of coming out of the closet here is a fantastic resource for a bit of guidance.

http://www.hrc.org/issues/10773.htm

Next Lesson: Drugs. Some of the good, some of the bad, and some of the ugly.

Lesson: Bears

Bears. Men come in all shapes and sizes. That's basically a given. One general shape is bear shaped. Bears are a subgroup in a larger gay culture. Generally a bear is a hairy, heavy set , hyper masculine gay man. Facial hair and a working class style tend to be associated with bears in gay culture.

Gay culture has room for everyone. From the smallest Thai lady-boy to over pumped body builders. For guys who are on the heavier side of life and/or are hairy beasts there is the category of Bear. A younger guy fitting the description could be referred to as a cub. Bears often like to find a cub to climb pole with. This has more to do with Gay men's fascination with cross generational sexuality (story for another day children) than anything else.

Love'em or leave'em. Bear's aren't for everyone. If a beefy man in boots with a thick beard and dirty jeans on isn't what turns you on, then so be it. If extra pounds on a dude is a deal breaker then Bear night at your local pub probably isn't where you should spend your rupees. At least have the courtesy to be polite as you walk by. Sexual attraction is a funny thing. I've never met two people attracted to the exact same thing. Two people might both be into getting spanked. But one prefers a bare handed spanking while the other really only gets off if they use a belt on him. All gay men like men but that does not mean that a gay man will like every gay man. The point being that it is OK to not be sexually attracted to one type of guy or the other. If nerdy white geeks don't get you hard because all you fantasize about is thick Latino thugs then I applaud you. Not for your specific choice in type of man but for recognizing what does turn you on. Once you know what pumps your well then you will have an easier time blending your desires with someone elses.

The point being that just because you are hairy thick gay boy or short or excessively tall or too skinny it doesn't mean that you can't find sex and/or love. Bears are my favorite example of this. There is a thriving community of Bears around the world simply because these Gay men have decided to express the joy of being them selves.

Next Lesson: The Closet. Peek-a-Boo! I see you, sucking dick.

Lesson: Cruising

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Lesson: Uniforms

Uniforms.

Uniforms are foreplay. Soccer kits, military uniforms, police uniforms, biker wear, swimwear, and emo wear are just a few uniforms that guys get into. It's all about roll playing and fantasy. A uniform can set the mood for sex with your hook-up. Maybe your partner has talked about how he really likes to watch the soccer players at school practice. He fantasizes about those thick hairy thighs and how he hopes his favorite players are wearing yellow jockstraps. If you want to spice up your sex a bit then invest in some soccer gear(or whatever the fantasy is) and wear it the next time you want to get laid.

A uniform that turns you on is even better. Wearing what turns you on might attract someone who is into that look as well. Be aware of what you are doing (Read back to my post on yellow jockstraps is you haven't read it already). Some uniforms may look hot to wear but have meaning that you may be unaware of.

You want your uniform to give clues as to what you are looking for. Jeans with a zipper in the ass give a very different impression than jeans with less ass access. If you want meet a kinky leather daddy then buy a collar or cuffs and head out to your local leather bar. If you want fit jocks then get some sexy workout clothes and cruise the gym.

You can try things out at home to start with. Maybe get a little something that turns you on. Maybe some knee high socks or a cock ring. Wear it around and get used to its feeling. You could try wearing erotic underwear one day to work or class if hat turns you on. Just make sure to take plenty of pictures to share with your friendly neighborhood blogger.

Next Lesson: Cruising. No boat reqired folks but you might need a life jacket.

Lesson:Cum

Cum.

Everyone cums. Or at least I have been lead to believe that women can. There are exceptions to every rule and there are folks out there that don't or can't cum. Like when you have been at the bathhouse for 6 hours and the haze is clearing while some guy who you just noticed vigorously attempts to siphon your eleventeenth load (slang for the entire quantity of semen shot from the body [Example: "Wow Joe, look at that bum shoot his load all over that 24hr Fitness window."]). Hard as the man tries that last load is just not coming.

A true appreciation of cum is in the reception of the load. Giving is easy but taking is judged on a very strict scale. At the bottom we have watching. It can be hot to either watch or be watched during climax. Orgasms are fun, they are designed that way so we will fuck and make babies. Now a Gay man's reasons for sex are slightly different from that but the mechanism is close enough. But plenty of dudes get off on just jerking off with other guys.

Next would be a hand job. Just casually helping a frat brother out with a handful of lotion is perfectly fine. Just make sure he is into it or won't wake up until after your done and gone.

Oral or the spit or swallow dilemma is next. Giving a BJ (blow job for the eunuchs in the group) is a wonderful way of saying hello, hi, how are you, your hot, or I love you. If a BJ is finished with a hand job then you just gave a hand job and you just got sent back two spaces. So if you want to be polite then you let the man cum in your mouth.

Contact with semen in your rectum or mouth can lead to the passing of sexually transmitted disease. I would also shy away from having anyone cum in your eyes or any open wounds. Wrapping your dick is a choice. Be honest and polite to each other regardless of someones personal choice. Now back to cum.

To spit or to swallow? Just do one or the other. Find out what your hook-up wants and make sure to express your wishes as well. If cumming on his feet is going to heighten your sexual experience then do it. If cumming on a burrito and feeding it to your lover is your thing then please eat up. If all you want to do is cum into a condom and flush it away then you are welcome at the table too.

A note on swallowing. Boys, we have all eaten our own cum at one time or another. Even if a guy says he never has, he has. No one's cum tastes good. Men don't produce an array of soda fountain flavors for our cock sucker to choose from. People claim that various fruits and other natural foods can alter the flavor one way or another. Pineapple is a prime example of one of these fruits. There is no real difference. If you don't take m word for it then as yourself this, " Have you ever heard anyone say that the cum in Hawaii is just sweeter?" The truth is that some cum is better than others. Volume and force can vary wildly as well. Some guys just ooze while others are like an angry snake shooting venom.

Lastly, anal. Cum and the ass have a tough relationship. I believe that most men prefer to not use condoms. We have all been inundated with the realities of sex without condoms. Unprotected anal sex is a great way to pass diseases. Again, make your own educated choices.

Cum is the physical manifestation of the male orgasm. When a man ejaculates he is more often than not being swallowed by pure bliss. We associate our sticky white mess with that level of pleasure. I won't get into how cum is a right of passage and how cum has become an object of taboo worship. For now just understand that cum is the clown in the Jack-in-the-Box. It is the prize in the cereal box. It is a warm splash in the face for a job done well.

Next Lesson: Uniforms. Gay life is is full of uniforms and they are for much more than work.

Lesson: Glory Holes

Glory Holes!

A Glory Hole is a hole in a wall or partition of sufficient size for a dude to stick his dick through. The expectation is that on the other side there is someone who will play with their dick. Glory Holes are not limited to but are generally used for anonymous oral sex.

Glory holes can be found in many places such as adult bookstores, public restrooms, sex clubs, or private homes. Basically if the location is semi secluded to private and someone can drill or in other ways produce a hole big enough to put a dick through then you have a glory hole.

The draw of a Glory Hole is that it is an anonymous sexual encounter. it is more likely than not to be quick and you won't get any lip stick on your collar (maybe on your cock) or any semen on your trousers. Glory Holes are perfect for closet cases and ugly people due to expectation of not being seen by their sexual partner.

Here I the thing about Glory Holes. You don't know who or WHAT is on the other side. I believe that life requires the occational leap of faith. I also believe that it is a poor choice to leap dick first. Maybe prearrange your gloryhole experience. It can be just as fun.

Next Lesson: Cum. Str8 men do it too but Gay guys really do it better.

Lesson: Yellow Jockstraps

There is a masculine appeal to the jock strap. Jockstraps tease the eye. The are more than nothing and less than underwear. Think of a cotton Speedo with the ass cut out. You can usually see a well defined outline of a guys cock and balls and better yet it hugs a hard-on beautifully. The ass is exposed as if open and ready or business. I am sure there is a very technical reason for why the ass is exposed but who cares? It is hot.

But why a specific color? In Gay sexual context colors can have very specific meanings. Here we have yellow. Boys and girls. You may or may not be aware that in a sexual context yellow is code for piss play. Piss play being just as it sounds. People playing with their urine and/or others urine. Drinking it, pouring it on themselves, urinating on another or having another urinate on them. Get it?

So if you are nosing around in a hook-ups room while he is in the bathroom giving himself a last minute enema and you find a yellow jockstrap, then someone will be getting pissed on.

Next Time:

Glory Holes. How glorious can that hole be?